So far, so good. One week down, two to go. Then only two more rotations. That's it. Whew. All done.

Lately I have been reading online food blogs. The idea of being back home, in California, with the fruit and veggies of the central valley at my finger tips excites me. I am trying to eat less processed foods, to make dishes that only have fresh ingredients and I am trying to remember that sometimes, (especially with food) less is more. My plan for this week for at least one meal is quinoa with fresh tomatoes, cilantro, olive oil, avocado, and lime juice. With a touch of salt and pepper. That's it. I am excited for it, because I know that the flavors will be magical together and be a little bit of sunshine in my mouth. I can't wait.

I came across a recipe for mayonnaise on Michael Ruhlman's food blog. Now, I have long been a hater of mayo. Part of it stems from trying to be like my dad (who is a lover of miracle whip) and part of it is that I just don't like the taste of it. But, I am curious about this recipe. It is simple. Egg yolks, lemon, salt, and olive oil. That's it. And the way it was described... I must admit, I am intrigued. Maybe I will take a chance next weekend.

So... here I am, three weeks later. Done with my vacation. And what do I have to show for it? A new found drive to be the best animal doctor that I can be? No. A great tan to show everyone that on my vacation I traveled to exotic locales? Sadly, no. A new appreciation for a culture different from my own? Still no. I do however, have a hole in my heart from leaving my cat behind. I also find my self to be filled with dread at the prospect of my next rotation. It's pretty much the one that I have been dreading since the beginning.

Here's hoping I survive.

Starting

I need an outlet. There are too many things running through my mind and to have a conversation about them with those around me... well, I can't burden them with the dark recesses of my mind.

I am a vet student. I am about to be an actual doctor. And this, this is quite possibly the scariest thing for me. I am going to make mistakes, and animals and people will suffer because of mistakes that I have made.

I euthanized a cat last night. She had a very poor prognosis and it was a totally acceptable choice to be made. I have euthanized many animals since I started working in the veterinary field. It feels different when I am the one who makes the call to euthanize an animal. Small things are feeling different. Making decisions about an animal... how to stabilize a shocky patient, and being right about my choices. It's starting to click. Things are starting to make sense, to come together. And still, there are other bits, things that I miss, things that I shouldn't miss.